Is There Anything He Doesn’t Do Well?

Don Draper made a cocktail on Mad Men tonight and I think I may have actually swooned.

I haven’t had a drink for over two years, but watching Don make whatever it was that he was crushing and mixing and shaking made me think that I would soooooooooo drink whatever he handed me.

Fortunately for me (and my husband) Don is a fictional character from the 1960s. He lives in a TV about about 50 decades away from me. Funny that I spend a lot of my written word on my feminist theory and yet am totally smitten by a pre-ERA kind of guy.

Speaking of being a feminist, here’s my article from last week about why I kept my last name:

Why I Kept My Last Name

How Did I Not Know about THIS!

Showtime is running a documentary right now (you can get it on their on-demand listings) called Guys and Divas.

It’s a documentary about rival high school theater programs. The high schools? New Albany, Jeffersonville, and my own alma mater Floyd Central. And it’s a little bit engrossing.

I’m not sure if I’m so into it because of the classic high school thesbian director/teachers or just because I know all the scenery locations as they film through town. Either way I’m watching it.

I have no idea what I’m doing

I like to give the impression that I have my shoot together, but it’s mostly pretend. Much of the time I am completely lost.

Yes, there are things I keep up with okay. But there are also things that I let drift to the side without a second thought. Things like forgetting to change the oil in my car. Let me tell you, this is something you should really keep up with because if you let your car go dry on oil, it’s not pretty. Not for your car or your relationship with your husband.

What else falls between the cracks with me? Cleaning. This is old news. I don’t like to clean. I rarely have the thought, “oh, I should probably clean that countertop, sink, table, refrigerator shelf, etc, etc, etc.”

I also have trouble keeping up with regular exercise and I never work on my novel as often as I should. I often fail to return phone calls or answer emails and I can never hear my cell phone ring. Ever.

The point is that I don’t beat myself up over it. Instead, I take comfort in knowing that I will always have room for improvement, there will always be stuff to work on. Regardless of what happens, I keep moving forward and know that eventually some of these things will work themselves out. The things that stay haywire were never meant to be in my power anyway.

She Crazy by Sheree

(My weekly article from this week’s Tribune)

Oprah is hosting Bear Grylls this week when she reruns an episode about surviving disasters, like avalanches, lightning strikes and plane crashes. There is no way in all of heaven, purgatory and earth that I would survive a day in Bear’s world. I can barely (bearly?) survive his show, “Man vs. Wild.”

As my husband is a Discovery Channel addict, I am forced to watch all the survival shows that usually end up with someone cold, wet and eating something that I’d be too scared to kill with a stick, much less eat. “American Loggers,” “Deadliest Catch” and now “Verminators” are all on his DVR list.

I will never in a million years understand how the “Verminators” show got picked up. What must the producers of that show promised the executive heads?

“It’s going to be outrageous. We will be filming homes so infested with rodents that wives who are watching will have to leave their own homes just to get as far away from their TV as possible.”

The only show on Discovery I can stomach is “Dirty Jobs,” and that’s because of its host. (Now if Mike Rowe was a verminator, that I may be able to handle.)

While my husband’s TV viewing habits fall snugly into the Discovery Channel’s target audience, I fall closer into Bravo’s target audience of gay males age 30 to 45. I could spend an entire day watching any of the “Real Housewives” franchises; although, Atlanta has quickly become my favorite.

And soon, “Flipping Out” will start with my most beloved obsessive-compulsive, overachieving and sometimes mean perfectionist Jeff Lewis. As ridiculous as he is, he’s got a way about him that makes me want to invite him for sushi and talk about why everyone is so fascinated with Tori and Dean, who aren’t even on Bravo, but have the gay male and 30-something female target audience nailed.

It’s Family Effort

…of course it doesn’t help that my five year old is sneaking into our son’s room and whispering into the baby monitor:

“mommmmmmmmmmmy, can you hear me? am i scaring you? i’m a ghooooooooooost!”

She’s an expert at keeping me distracted.

(see post below)

She’s Crafty

Unless she’s trying her damnedest to write an article for work.  I’ve been trying for most of the afternoon to craft an article for a business publication and it’s KILLING ME. Honestly, I’ve found more ways to be distracted from writing than usual.

So far I have:

• Checked Facebook repeatedly, switching between it and my personal email.
• Set up a new Beastie Boys channel on my Pandora Radio account (which you can thank for my She’s Crafty title).
• Semi-designed a built-in bookcase I want in my home office (no specific measurements, just eye-ing it as the blank wall is to my immediate left right now).
• Looked up numerous bookcase designs that would work for said bookcase.
• Made a pot of coffee.
• Blogged.

I tried to explain the article to a friend at lunch today and he was bored before I even finished the elevator pitch for the piece.

Sometimes, my nine-to-fiver writing does not make for fascinating, mind-blowing material.  So my struggle: how do I write something that makes people want to keep reading it when I can’t keep writing it???

To Fold or Not to Fold, that is the question

There is a pile of laundry as high as my bed at the foot of said bed. It stares at me whenever I enter my bedroom. Watching me, judging me for leaving it as is…a heap of wrinkled kids clothing and men’s white t-shirts turned inside-out. It’s like any other task left undone; the longer it stands there the more difficult it comes to overcome it. I even made my bed this morning. My room is neat except for this pile of cloth. It’s the oxymoron in the middle of my room, a hill of mess amidst an otherwise tidy space. What good is it except to give me something to write about.

Time to Start Manifesting Again

Things are good. Family is good, home is good, work is good. I’m happy.

But, I want more.

I discovered in my year of writing every day for 365 days straight that putting what you want out in the universe works. The universe conspires to get you what you want if you do whatever you can to get it too.

I want more writing gigs. I want to earn a sinful amount of money writing whatever I want to write. I’m ready for my writing career to take that next step.

I’ve got some fun new projects going on. First…I’m collaborating for the first time ever with another writer. This is a new thing that I’m really looking forward to seeing how it turns out. I’ll keep you posted.

Second…I’m going to try my hand a teaching this October. If you’re looking to learn more about crafting resumes, writing cover letters, and getting the 411 on job search best practices, then sign-up for my Job Search Boot Camp class. It’s going to be offered through IUS’s continuing education studies. I’ll be hosting a six week course that meets for an 1-1/2 hours on Saturday mornings in October and November. Those are the only details I know right now. I’ll post more as we get closer to classtime.

So I’m trying my best to get out there and get some energy flowing. Maybe a quick list of things I’d like to see in the coming months:

• Regular writing gig with a national print or online publication
• Finished home office (my book collection is all still being held captive in boxes…I need some bookshelves to set them free)
• Finished manuscript (even through all this, I’m still working on a manuscript I started last year titled Meri, Marla & Meeps…rough draft drop date: December 1, 2009)
• An AGENT!!! I want an agent bad, bad, bad…what’s the likelihood that I can convince an agent to represent a columnist for a smalltown daily? How did Garrison Keillor get discovered?

Alright then, there’s my new start. Let the manifestation-ing begin.

My Home School Charm School

Published in the August 12, 2009 issue of The Tribune.

It’s here; my daughter starts kindergarten this week. By all accounts, it’s the biggest milestone she’s had since she took her first step; or, maybe even sleeping in her own bed every night. Either way, it’s a huge event … for her and her parents.

Our week has been filled with celebratory errands. We shopped for school supplies, got a big-girl hair-cut, and soon we’ll be getting new school shoes and jeans. Now if only I can find the best place to pick up a strong and steadfast supply of self esteem and courage.

It’s no secret that a girl’s emotional well being suffers a bit as she faces the cultural challenges of growing up. Studies have shown that as girls mature they learn to suppress their opinions, their passions, their excitement, and their anger. There is a great line in the book “The Virgin Suicides” by Jeffrey Eugenides spoken by the 13-year-old character, Cecilia, who had tried to commit suicide. When her doctor asks, “What are you doing here? You’re not even old enough to know how bad life gets,” Cecilia tells him, “Obviously, doctor, you’ve never been a thirteen-year-old girl.”

I’m not dismissing the struggles that boys endure; but I have a girl about to jump, so my guards are up to keep her true nature in tact and in full swing for wherever she lands.
To balance the inherent quieting that happens as a young girl evolves into adulthood, I will host my own one-on-one, mother-to-daughter, charm school. My goal will not be to teach my daughter outward charms like how to hold a spoon or curtsy in front of royalty. Instead, she will learn her own inner charms and appreciate all she has to offer. I will do my best to reinforce her individuality and support her unique tastes.

The view from atop my soapbox

…or maybe, “Why the left is winning”

It’s because we’re smarter. Really, if you want to change things you’re going to have to be a bit more thoughtful, a bit more clever, and a bit more engaging than showing up at town hall meetings and yelling like your pants are on fire.

How are these new demonstrations doing any good? They do nothing for the overall discussion on health care reform; all they really do is deepen the divide between political parties. Show up with real questions and add to the discussion with insightful commentary on why the health care reform bill may not work. Get both sides thinking instead of trying to piss people off.

Didn’t we all learn as toddlers that throwing tantrums doesn’t work? Get a grip…really. It’s embarrassing to see your angry mob tactics. They failed you and McClain both and here you are still doing it (definition of insanity = doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results).

Anger, rage, hate is never ever ever the answer.

Understanding, compassion, thoughtfulness is always better.