Not Tom, I still love Tom and his heartbreakers. They have one of the best greatest hits albums (CDs? Downloads?) out there. One of my most favorite talk-through-the-song-lines ever is, “…watch her walk.” (that’s from here comes my girl if you’re not on the tom petty tip.) Another great talk-through-the-song line: Elvis’ are you lonesome tonight. He practically monologues that entire song and it’s sugary sweet fantastic. love it love it love it. But who doesn’t love Elvis, the yummy young love me tender Elvis.
Anyway the petty I’m blogging of is the petty that comes with the day-to-day crapola. The little stuff that crawls under your skin and stays there. I’ve been dealing with one bug for nearly two weeks and was trying my damnedest to let it go. (that was one friend’s advice, just let it go.) But I couldn’t. I tried. It didn’t work. I wrote another friend about it and they just listened and let me vent. That didn’t get rid of it either, but it did get me thinking.
WHY IS THIS STILL BUGGING ME?
So I let myself feel it. I sat in my car and stayed still and kept on the feeling that came when I thought of the experience and didn’t try to push it away or blame it on surrounding parties or do anything with it but feel it. Then I tried to think of the bare basics of it…what was it stirring with me. And then, POOF, I got it. It was an old rattered and torn feeling of inadequacy. It was deep and had dark sides and showed up as of recently as a petty, petty annoyance. When I got to the heart of it, I realized it wasn’t petty at all, or at least the original event, thought, and emotion that it was attached to was big stuff. Stuff that sets your coping mechanisms in motion.
So tonight I took a walk and let my mind go back to that empty, sad place and felt the despair and then immediately felt the why. I got where it came from and I decided that from here on out I would do my best to deal with whatever shows up in my life masquerading as petty.
I’ll find the root issue as best I can and deal with it. If there’s no root issue to be had, then I’m going to let it go. Avoid the petty…that’s the new rule. No petty bickering with spouses. No time spent on petty distractions that keep me from bigger greater appreciations. No petty annoyances that linger in my frontal lobe and keep me from my potential.
We’ll see how this one goes…
