I ooooooooowe my soul to the company store

(to be sung to the tune of Merle Travis’ Sixteen Tons song)

You birth fourteen babes and what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go,
l owe my soul to the grocery store.

….and I never thought I’d have a chance to parody my most favorite coal mining song! only goes to show that you can never say never about anything, including giving birth to fourteen kids all under the age of seven.

And that’s my segue into this week’s column:

Living in a Shoe

By AMY GESENHUES

The nursery rhyme, “There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,” popped in my head whenever I had a moment to stop and think last week. “ … she had so many kids, she didn’t know what to do.” I should confess that I only have two kids. And still, three days packed securely in my house felt a bit like we were living in a shoe.

All my five-year old wanted to do was play in the snow, which I couldn’t do because the other child is only three months. All my three-month old wanted to do was cry because he is teething. This too shall pass, I thought as he slobbered down my back. My days inside were spent making chocolate milk, bottles, lunch snacks of grapes and Doritos, and endless pots of coffee.

We were extremely fortunate that our power was only out for half the day. By dinner time last Wednesday, I was able to put together enough food from my refrigerator and cupboard to feed my brother, neighbor, and Grandmother, all of whom were without electricity and heat. I also got to watch television, and the one story that got my attention every time was the new mother of octuplets.

The original press conference included the doctors who delivered the eight children. They stood behind a podium and declared that all the babies were born safely and appeared to be in good health considering the circumstance.

Eight children, I thought over and over as I made bottles of formula, changed diapers and tried my best to sooth my fussy, teething babe. Eight is enough. Eight is too many. But then we learned that there were not only the eight new babies, but six more at home-all under the age of seven.

My head exploded and I had to make another pot of coffee with an extra scoop. I needed something strong to fathom this breaking news. Fourteen kids under the age of seven. Fourteen kids under the age of seven. Fourteen kids under the age of seven. I kept thinking it to myself over and over again. She literally had so many kids that I didn’t know what to do.

Read rest of article.